Key Lessons I Learnt in 2021

 At the start of 2021, I  was working towards my age old dream of becoming a doctor. I always had this belief that pursuing this profession is the best thing I could do for my life, as I love helping people. So, I was preparing for the entrance examination that would get me in a good medical college.

Only to realise that I didn't want to do it in the first place...

It's a story...

When I was in 9th grade, I felt really sick. I got so weak that I was hardly able to walk. I was having beliefs that I am gonna die lol. It was viral fever accompanied by typhoid. But no doctor nor no amount of blood tests were able to diagnose it. Finally in the fourth test, after I don't know how many gallons of my blood were taken out, I was correctly diagnosed. But then no doctor was prescribing effective medicines! Fever kept flying higher and higher, 103,104, 105. The highest temperature I remember correctly was 107.3. Fahrenheit, of course. I kept travelling from this doctor to that doctor. Then I went to another doctor and BAM!!! I was cured. It was such a relief!

 This made my 9th grade self, want to become a doctor. Of course!

But as I grew up, I grew up to be a little different. But I was holding onto that dream, the dream which my past self had. I was working towards that dream for my past self as well as for one more reason..

I was trying to motivate myself daily, wrote in my notebooks, blackboards,social media handles. Telling myself that "I want to be a doctor, I want to be a doctor, I want to be a doctor". Although I didn't!

The funny part, my present me wanted to explore. He wanted to do different things. Act,sing,dance,play,write,freelance,internships,meeting new people,learn new skills,etc. He didn't want to commit to a single particular profession, at least so early in his life.

But, he had this belief that once he gets admission in a medical college, that would give him the FREEDOM to do the things he actually wanted to do. He thought that getting into a medical college would make him answerable to none. He was pursuing medical in the hope that then he would get to do things he actually wanted to do.

But his constant struggle to prepare for the exam, him constantly questioning himself that why is he doing what he's doing lead to only one answer, that he didn't want to do it in the first place. 

He knew it all along, but it was all about this decision he had to make.

So, he made the decision. He told his parents that he didn't wanna do it and he's not gonna do it.

And you know what?

He was FREE!

Yes it was that easy!

He was free to do all the things he thought only a medical college would give him the freedom to do. 

He thought that a medical college would make him answerable to none but he wasn't answerable to anyone in the first place!

His parents, though hesitated a bit in accepting his apparently sudden decision, accepted it when they saw how happy, how liberated he was after his decision.

He realised that in a way he was pursuing his dream which he well and truly had in the past. His past self's dream.

He realised that there is no past him. Only him.

And this made his introspective self learn a few things. Of course!

1) All the things that there are, are right now! There's no past you, only you. There's no past her, only her.

2)All the cages that we are in,are only in our minds. 

Let that limiting belief go and you find yourself free!

You are answerable to no one. Alright maybe your parents, or your spouse, basically people whose lives are interconnected with you. Your decision, totally. But nobody cares in the grand scheme of things. Fuck yes!!

3) It's great to have a never give up attitude but it's equally important to have a "why" of doing things. That might be able to help you a lot in what you do. Otherwise you might find yourself at a place you didn't want to be in the first place. We all have limited amount of time in our lives. Let's spend it in doing what we want to do.

Lastly,

 It's absolutely ok to give up on things and people that don't give us energy or stop us from growing.

It's liberating to let go.

It's liberating to give up.

Something is not better than nothing.

There's a freedom in nothing.

There's a space in nothing.

There's a possibility of exploration in nothing.

You have the whole universe waiting for you.

Not written to portray that I know a lot. If anything this story tells you is that I'm a dumb shit.

Just trying to be a little less dumb...

Love.

Fazal Karim

You can reach out to me on twitter at thefazalkarim